I don't understand.

I don't understand when a child dies. Yeah, I know God has a plan. Yeah, I know God is in control, but my earthly mind has a hard time understanding how it is ok. Why God allows it to happen. My "knowledge" mind knows that sometimes God allows things for reasons we will never understand. My "heart-emotions" mind cannot fathom how it is ok. Why it happens.
On Sunday, we found out our friends lost their baby. He was 4 days old. 4 days old.
There were major complications during labor and he was on "life support" from last Monday to Friday, when he was taken off and died.
There has been a heaviness in my heart since I found out. I cannot imagine experiencing all 40 weeks of a healthy pregnancy to lose my baby during labor. I cannot imagine returning home to clean newborn clothes, tiny diapers and a decorated room with empty arms. My heart aches for the mother who's body is responding as if she has a baby to feed, yet no belly to fill. I am grieved to the core - most likely because I have so recently given birth. Though it sort of seems selfish, I put myself in her situation and cannot imagine my life without Violet(or any of my children).
In this situation there is a peace that must come from our Father alone. I have wept for this mother (and family) and wondered how she is continuing life. I think of myself and I would want to curl up in bed and never get up. The whole idea that "God only gives us what we can handle" seems trite and cliche in these situations. God has a plan...that is why these things happen. But that does not mean that they are not horribly painful and tragic. This family has been changed forever.
Another friend at work Monday was crying as she told me about a 9-month old child of a friend who had died the day before. He was literally on his way to the OR to get a new liver (he had an autoimmune Hepatitis - basically your liver attacks itself) when he "coded(heart stopped)" and died. 9 months old.
God, sometimes I don't understand you. I guess these are the times I have to trust You.