Can you keep a secret? No, seriously, you can't tell anyone. Ok...I have always wanted to run a marathon, but never thought I could do it. Such a huge commitment, a lot of hard work, and such discipline! I couldn't ever do it, could I? I don't know...
As I dip my big toe in, I test the waters: "I really want to run a marathon before I am 30." Very safe - gives me a few years to ease into it, and the person I told that to would probably forget I said that within that same timeframe.
Ok, I'll put my whole foot in: "I'd love to run a marathon this year...but maybe I'll still just do the half-marathon."
Your right, might as well put both feet in: "I'm thinking about running a marathon, but I should get a better jogger first - there's no way I can train with this one..."
I'm not sure I can train pushing the kids...I don't know if I have time for the long runs...how will I get my runs in with Jason's erratic schedule and me working nights...I might be pregnant(no plans for the near future)...too many excuses.
Ok, guys, here it goes - I'm diving straight into this chasm that frightens me, challenges me, and calls me to do something that I've always wanted to do, but never believed in myself enough to commit to:
I'M GOING TO RUN MY FIRST MARATHON IN HUNTINGTON BEACH ON FEBRUARY 4, 2007.
No backing down now.
Failure is not an option.

Peaceful

In the midst of a crazy life, today I feel so peaceful and joyful. No specific event has triggered these feelings...maybe they are not even feelings, but more the state of being that I have chosen.

Sarah and I talked for a few minutes today, and after our conversation, I've decided - no more numbering. I don't need to do a list of 10 everytime. Too conventional. So...off to be thankful. And yes, in these moments, I am trying to remember to actually prayerfully be thankful.

*My neighbor wanting to do MOPS with me (maybe there IS a reason I am doing it??)

*My mom and dad coming over tonight with dinner, part of dessert, wine and a game - what more could a girl want??

*Feeling no fear last night as I layed down to go to sleep alone - I have really been fighting this illogical fear when Jason is working

*Encouraging time with Sally yesterday

*Not feeling tired as I got up a bit before 6 this morning

*My mom's return to Blogging

Our Detailed God

Sunday's sermon really got me thinking, which is always the goal the pastor has in mind, I'm sure. Our pastor spoke about God being in all the details of life that often get overlooked because our lives are so busy with other things. We can't hear Him speaking to us over our loud music, crying kids, tv, pounding headaches....etc. We can't see Him working in all the aspects of our lives because we are so busy rushing off to our playdate, or the library storytime. I really relate to that. Since I have become a mother, I have had a hard time consistently spending time in the Bible. And as a result, the hand of God in my life seems rather invisible to my chaotic vision. I see many other things...dirty diapers, laundry, breakfast, lunch, grocery shopping...but do I thank God for the guy who came over to my car and offered to hold my kid's balloons so I could buckle them each in? Do I thank God when our car repairs are minimal? Do I thank God when my cupboards hold much more food than I need? When my kids wake up another morning healthy and happy? When my husband and I both have good jobs? The answer is no. No I don't thank God for all those details. The ironic thing, is I sit here at my computer every few days, or weeks, and type out a thankful list. But who am I thankful to?? Dang - this should cause me to pray and thank God more, but I'm not sure it does.
Scott (our pastor) talked about Moses's mom being able to breastfeed him as a baby and how awesome that was. Ok, if you are a breastfeeding mother(or even if you're not!!) that really enjoyes it and relishes that bond, you understand how his mom must have felt her heart breaking as she put her baby in that basket. The unbearable ache as she sent her son away, not knowing how he was going to eat, or if he would live. And then God worked out a way for her to be able to be there as he grew up, and breastfeed him no less. I have never contemplated this, but it has really struck me. Praise God. What a God of details.

September 15, 2006

Always pictures of the kids, but here is a recent picture that Jason is smiling for (not making a funny/bored/lame face for...).

I'm thankful today:

1) Impromptu dinner at Aaron and Kristen's (neighbors)

2) Hearing today that my paperwork has gone through for the ER job and I will be starting there in 2-3 weeks

3) I was able to give my 2 week notice to my manager today on the phone and he took it relatively well

4) Gavin staying at Aaron and Kristen's tonight so I could run to Rite Aid for a prescription with only 1 kid in tow

5) Watching the kids play on the beach today - I let them play in the water even though they didn't have their suits on. I wish I had my camera - Gavin in his undies and Ez in his onsie covered in sand and water and happy as can be.

6) Plans to hang out with Sarah tomorrow - we haven't hung out in a really long time

7) My tooth pain getting better

8) Jason has 5 nights off starting tomorrow night

9) Whipped cream

10) Finding such a great new friend right next door!

11) A little chat with Kristen (my long lost WA friend--haha) --ok, she's only been gone a few weeks, but we miss her!!

10 Months Old

Today our baby boy is 10 months! Has it almost been a year already? I am always reminded how fast time slips through our fingers when I write here because it forces me to see how fast days and weeks and months go!
We went out to breakfast Sunday morning with Judy, Sarah and Ben and it was a little wild - I was reminded how different things are with the kids after the firstborn. With Gavin, I had all of his meals well-rounded, I bought all the different seasonal fruit and veggies and cooked them and never gave him jarred food. I didn't give him anything before the recommended time and never gave him sweets as a baby either....well, yes, its different after your first. At breakfast, Ez was fussy (not a huge surprise to anyone--he's kind of "temperamental") so I gave him a piece of Gavin's chocolate chip pancakes. And then another piece. And another. This would have NEVER happened with Gavin! But it made Ez happy, which meant I could eat breakfast, which meant everyone was happier. Hmmm...the joys of motherhood - and learning to be more flexible! So here are some pictures of Ez after some chocolate chip pancakes...

I am thankful for:

1) Sleeping a lot Monday after working Sunday night - thanks to my hubby

2) Getting in to the endodontist on Tuesday and my dad being willing to babysit so I could get my root canal

3) Only needing 1 root canal instead of 2 - but gosh - the pain today is horrible!!

4) The mocha my friend/neighbor made me today

5) Friends coming over today to play with us

6) Jason's next schedule is great - 2 times he has 5 days off in a row!

7) Going out Saturday night with Kristen, (same friend who made my mocha) to coffee and a movie. It was really fun to have time by ourselves - sans kids!

8) The homemade pizzas and time with my parents last night

9) As always, good advice from my parents. My insecurity about my job change has raised many doubts, but my mom is always a good sounding board and helps me to see things as they really are.

10) Ez learning to give kisses

Just like my mom...

All growing up, I swore I would never be like my mom. As a young girl, half the things she did drove me crazy, just like every other mom around. Moms were not cool, and not someone you wanted to be like. So there I was, swearing up and down I would never be like my mom...well as I've aged, of course that has changed. I have prayed to be like my mom in many ways. My mom is amazing. Today as we walked around and talked, I realized just how much like my mom I am...down to our nighttime snack habits. It was so funny to me to realize how many little things about me are from my mom. Funny how our outlook changes as we get older!

1) My pretty toes! My mom and I had a great time giving each other pedicures. My mom is basically professional and I almost tipped her for how great she made my toes look

2) Being able to get into the dentist quickly, since I'm suffering from a toothache!

3) The Kettle Korn from the HB Farmers Market

4) Talking to my mom as we hung out all day

5) Jason will be home a little earlier than normal tonight - yes!

6) The kids both playing outside this morning for over an hour

7) Chickenless nuggets - Gavin doesn't know the difference!

Thats all I really feel like doing for now...I'm going to try and post some pictures. If they are there, then I was successful!

September 6, 2006

Just getting back from a few hours in downtown HB. Of course it was fun as we played on the grass and had lunch at Jan's with Natalie, Sally and Mackenzie. The kids are napping and soon, so am I. Or should I clean???

So I'm thankful for:

1) Air conditioning in my car

2) The window air conditioning unit someone offered us for free for these hot days

3) Infant Tylenol

4) Tuna and avocado sandwich for lunch

5) The fun bar-b-q we had on Monday at Kyle and Natalie's. It was great to hang out with our friends we see only every so often

6) The Aquarium of the Pacific with Kristen on Friday. Not sure if I've already mentioned it - the kids (especially Ez!) LOVED it! Gavin's 2nd time, so he showed us the ropes

7) The whole day with Kristen on Friday, since she moved on Monday. I'm sad because today is Wed and she usually comes over Wed nights and eats with us and we play yahtzee and watch Project Runway...I miss you, Kris!

8) Early to bed last night - so a good 9 hours of sleep! I was catching up from working Monday night

9) Getting my errands done yesterday

10) New library books to read