I'm a fairly confident person in most areas of my life. There are several (read: many) areas I struggle in, but who doesn't? One of those areas is my house. The decoration of. The keeping clean of. The looking put together. My house. It struggles. So I struggle. I had an experience today that has me thinking. Join me as I reflect back...
I love our neighborhood - especially because there are kids around the ages of our kids all over. One family in particular has 3 kids each the same age/sex as our 3. Super exciting, right? Ummm...yes. My hesitance?? Well, its the Mom. She's beautiful and uber "put together." Ok, I'm ok with beautiful women. I'd like to think I've grown out of the "lets compare my beauty to hers" stage. But did I mention she's about 5'10'' and was probably a model at some time in her life? Did I mention that she has beautiful glossy hair, perfectly done make up and sleek, well fitting clothes? Did I mention that I usually spend most of the day in spandex capris, weird fitting sports bras and t-shirts that are oversized with a hole in the armpit? I'm confident, yeah, but COME ON girls - have you never had a hard time with this??? So, "C" is beautiful, but....theres got to be some downfall, right? Yeah, sure Carrie. Ok, lets go down the mental list of things that are not her downfall: well behaved kids who are also well dressed, nice cars, husband that gets home before 5pm every night and is home every weekend....then it must be the house. I bet its not decorated that well...or is awkward...80's decor or something, right??
Well, today our kids were playing together outside and she, in her cute jeans and sweater hoodie and I, in my spandex capris and greasy hair were making small talk. We were in front of our house and I made a point not to invite her in. I'm sorry, but there was dirty dishes, junk all over the floor, underwear that Ezekiel has thrown into different areas of different rooms - some most likely with "skid marks" and food stuck to the dining room table from 2 meals ago. NO - Mrs Glam was not coming into my house. As the hang out continued the kids moved over to her house. My red flags were thrashing in my head as she said "do you want to come in and see my house?" She WANTS me to see it....CRAP. We walked from room to room as she showed me around her house. Beautifully hung pictures and artwork decorated the walls and gorgeous rugs and wood flooring adorned the floor. There were perfectly placed blankets over this chair or that and not a speck of dirt or foreign object was strewn about. And of course, dinner was on and smelled delicious and effortless. The beds were made, mirrors were clean and clothes were picked up. As I walked around, I felt a strange sensation in my stomach that I ignored - pushed away from my minds spotlight. Soon after the Grand Tour, we left because they were going on a family walk with their groomed-to-perfection dogs. We came home and I was met with a dirty kitchen, dog hair covered couch, floors that I have to wear shoes because they are not clean enough for bare feet and an unplanned dinner to make. The kids were all tired and cranky and as I talked aloud about what I might do for dinner, all 3 of the kids were crying for one reason or another. I lost my temper and sent Gavin to his room. As he stomped off to his room I knew that my anger was out of place - was coming from somewhere unknown. I thought for a moment and recognized immediately the origin. Mrs. Glam and the Glam House. The feeling I had shoved away from my thoughts was JEALOUSY. Like an odorless gas that seeps in and poisons you before you even know its there. Jealousy. Its enemy - CONTENTMENT is what I have been praying for for several years. Contentment in all areas. Contentment says it doesn't matter how much money you have. I found myself wondering how I could decorate my house...if only I had more money. Contentment is making the choice to be satisfied with what God has given, regardless of what it is. I fight against this constantly. More money, better hair, a better body, another child, OWNING a house, a better decorated house....but today I faced the jealousy head on. I faced it in my mind and cussed it out. I fought against the lies that told me I would be more happy with a well decorated house or more money. I choose contentment today. And maybe I'll even invite Mrs. Glam in next time, and show her that sometimes even a slightly imperfect look is good too.
On these rainy days we had to dress in our rain clothes to pick up G from school
Miss V is always trying to sneak gum. If my purse is in her reach, she is looking for either gum or "yips" - lip gloss
Last Saturday we spent several days at the beach...the boys even went into the water! I was shocked to hear it was to rain all week - it was such a beautiful day.
I was making dinner one night last week and my kids were all sitting at the table reading books...unprompted by me. Some nights this time (dinner-making time) is really hard...and sometimes very peaceful (below). Ok, the only time it has ever been peaceful is this one night. Thats why I took a picture. I was in shock.
