Bummer

I'm so mad - I got my camera out yesterday to take a cute picture of V in her velvet brown and pink blazer and my battery was dead! I was at my parent's house and not going home until evening, so no Thanksgiving pictures of my family - I'll get some Monday with J's family! We had a great day enjoying family and great food.
Another bummer is I woke up feeling pretty nasty this morning. Upset stomach, achy, hot...then cold, etc. A tough of the flu, I think. Not too bad...I'm actually feeling so much better tonight, which I'm so grateful for because J is in the middle of a 5 day stretch of working. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel even better.
I'm amazed how great my kids were today...just playing in the living room while I layed on the couch. I even took an hour nap in the afternoon while Ez slept and V and G played together. He played with her and I didn't hear a peep for an hour!! I'm shocked...he is so great with her - very careful and watching what she puts in her mouth. He's constantly asking me if various items are ok for her. Such a sweet brother. And V...I barely held her today, but she is totally content crawling around and exploring...such a blessing on a day like today. Basically she played, ate and slept!
Its 5:20pm and I'm going to make the boys dinner...and I guess later I'll take a shower and just put new pjs on because I never took mine off today. Just one of those days.

A Year Ago...

Last Thanksgiving was a bummer because my mom worked and we didn't have THE MEAL we have had our whole lives on Thanksgiving. I took the boys to J and Ang's early on in the day and I think went to Jason's parent's house later that day. I'm really looking forward to today - being with my family (minus D and B...miss you!) and eating my mom's amazing food :)
Then Monday we get to celebrate with Jason's family.
This is Ang and I last year...when I was pregnant with V...and this year Ang is pregnant with baby Grace! My mom and I threw her a fun shower Sunday...unfortunately I forgot my camera...

The boys helped Ang make rolls last year
Happy Thanksgiving!

*Update on work situation...worked Mon and Tues this week - good for the $$ but SO BUSY...I was wiped out after those 2 shifts. I also got a call from UCI yesterday...I have to go through the whole hiring process(background check and everything) so it will be a few weeks still...

already?

I was making breakfast this morning for Jason and the boys and Violet was playing in the living room with her toys as she does every morning. Jason told me to come over and look...there she was - standing holding onto the couch. NOOOOOOO!!! Not yet! Too fast! She has also started crawling the past week or so. She isn't very fast yet, but she takes her time and gets wherever she wants to go. Its going too fast!!!

Fun things Violet has done lately:

*If you say "haaaa--aaaay" to her, she will say it back with the exact voice inflections. Jason is really good at getting her to do this and its super cute

*When I say "cheese!" she looks at me and smiles, ready for the camera

*Clapping her hands when we say "yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhh!"

Our nicknames for Violet so far:

*Miss V (the most popular)

*Violetta

*pretty girl

*V

*mamacita

Warning: Major Whiny Post Below

I hate registry.
Has my stress level decreased, as I said it would?? A million times NO!!!!!! How do I explain all the things I hate about it?? I'll try.
I hate not knowing if I'm going to work on the days I want to. Lately, there has been very little work through my registry and I spoke to a larger company today and was told it is the same across the board. Census is low in hospitals right now so registry nurses are not getting much work. Staff members are not using sick time or vacation time and hospitals are adding incentives to get their staff to pick up extra shifts instead of getting a registry RN which costs them MUCH more. This week I have yet to work. I have been "available" 4 days and nothing. I was supposed to work in Laguna Beach tomorrow but was told tonight they got one of their own staff to cover it. So I am left to hope there are sick calls at another hospital and am able to work tomorrow. If not, that is another week without a paycheck. That also means that I will get woken by a phone call from the registry at 4:45am telling me whether I'm going to work or no phone call if I'm not going to work. Lately, I have been waking up at 4:30am waiting for the call, then staying awake for an hour or more, even if there was no phone call. Anxiety! Stress!
I have been thinking all along how great it is that Jason and I are both in professions that don't' really fluctuate with the economy. Yeah right.
When I have happened to get a shift, the attitude toward me is HORRIBLE. People expect you to be lazy, lame, awful and unskilled. You don't know where anything is, and most people don't care enough to show you or are so busy themselves, they don't have time. I hate that nobody wants to talk to me or is interested in me. That's a part of enjoying work - having relationships with people in your workplace.
I hate that I am so low on the totum pole, I was there for NINE hours without so much as a 5 min break. Last week I ate breakfast at home, got to work at noon and didn't eat again until 9:30pm. They knew I hadn't eaten, but it was so busy there was no one to cover my patients so I just had to wait.
Jason and I had decided that I was going to wait until after the holidays to decide whether this is going to work for us. But as I have thought about it, I have realized that isn't going to work - if I work as little as I have been, we are going to burn through money that we have for other things. Plus, if I hate it, why continue?? So...
All that to say - I called my old boss at UCI today and asked if he still had a per diem day shift position available. He does...so I did the application today and am going to hopefully get rehired in the near future- once I jump through all the HR hoops, etc. Even though I've only been gone 5 weeks, I have to go through everything as if I've been gone 5 years. I didn't realize how good I had it...until it was gone!

Ezekiel is 3!

I think I actually started this blog this past weekend sometime but never had a chance to finish it. Ezekiel turned 3 last Thursday and I can hardly believe how fast time has gone. Its weird. And sad! BUT - parts of watching him grow up are really amazing too. On his birthday, he made all the decisions - all meals and what we did. We had donuts for breakfast, went to Chuck E. Cheese to play lots of games, and McDonald's for lunch (we know - we hate that place too...but - it was his birthday! ). After naps he opened a few presents, then went out with my brother to dinner and then to a volleyball game. The boys were beyond excited to go out with Jason and Angela. They didn't want us to come...and that part was sort of sad for me! They want to go somewhere without Jason and I! But another part of me knows that they are emotionally healthy kids because of that too. It was a very fun day for Ezekiel.
On Saturday we celebrated with some friends at the park and I didn't get a chance to include any of those pictures. It was a fun morning with more donuts and lots of playing.
For those of you who know Ezekiel you know he is "passionate." He screams and yells when he doesn't get what he wants (we're working on that...) and is extremely stubborn. He is also very loving and affectionate. He talks like crazy - especially when G is at preschool because he doesn't have to fight for talk time. He is very coordinated - getting good at hitting the ball when J pitches to him and loves to ride scooters. We love Ezekiel more than ever and can't wait to watch him grow into the man God has created him to be.

Pirate boys
V and I enjoying Chuck E. Cheese together

gametime!

Ezekiel's favorite color as of late - PINK! Here wearing a pink necklace and ring :)

He LOVES gum and tic tacs!!!

2 years old

2nd Birthday

1st Birthday

Ez at 1...loving the thumb...just as much as today

6 months old

6 months old

1 month old

Cover your Mouth!

Dan took some cute pictures of the kids on Saturday. The first picture embodies 2 things our boys love...1) wearing soccer clothes - at least 4 days out of the week (including cleats on Ezekiel) and 2) "running" with anyone who is leaving our house...they get ready, then run alongside the car to the corner.

It is cough and snot city at my house. All 3 kids have nasty mucous noses and the boys are coughing pretty bad. Ezekiel has been doing breathing treatments because, as always, he has progressed to wheezing and Gavin just has a "chunky" sounding cough. I just walked by V's room while she's napping and heard her cough...shoot. This is the part I don't like about fall/winter. The kids always get colds!
Onto other less nasty thoughts...I'm thrilled to have Kristen coming into town this weekend - I'll get to see her Saturday and I can't believe Ezekiel will be 3 on Thursday!! Wow.

As for my working...I worked yesterday and wanted to work today but they didn't have work for me. I'm struggling with this issue because I want to run out and sign up with a different registry that has more work rather than wait and see if God has me in this position for a reason. I have felt stressed about money, bills, etc. and realize I need to release this area to God. My mom and I talked awhile this morning about all this and I was encouraged. Jason and I decided we would give it another month before making any decisions...like signing up with another Registry, etc. At this point I'm more dependant on God - it is testing my faith...and I'm sure that's a good thing.

SuperMom

I'm not sure I've organized my thoughts quite enough on this subject to proceed, but I will give it a go. SUPER MOMS...
There is NO. SUCH. THING.
The idea of super mom is fantasy. Its unrealistic and actually sort of torturous. Strange term to use? Imagine yourself as a new mom (those of us who have been there don't have to imagine - we can just think back in time...) watching other more veteran moms around us. They seem to be Super Mom. They keep a clean house, have a healthy dinner on the table at the same time every night and are always upbeat. They play with their kids, never lose their patience and even make crafts and go fun places with their kids. How can I ever live up to that (as a new mom you're thinking this)...?
Well...I want to bust this open. This well kept secret. There is no such thing. Every one of us has things we're good at and EVERY ONE OF US has things we're bad at. One of my friends might be good at playing with her kids, but she sucks at making dinners. One of my friends might be good at keeping a clean house, but she loses her temper too quickly....
As women, for some reason we are competitive with each other. We want to look REALLY good so others wonder how we do it all. We want to look like we have it all together. SO...we don't talk about the hard stuff. We don't share the times we yell at our kids or feed our kids macaroni for dinner 4 nights in a row. We don't tell if we let the kids watch 4 hours of tv because what would others think?? I struggle with this subject...I want other people to think I'm a good mom and never lose my temper and always feed my kids super nutritious food and have a super clean house. But the reality is I do lose my temper and yell at times. If you walked into my house on any given day (if I didn't know you were coming) you would find toys all over, dust on the shelves, pee on the toilet seat and crumbs on the floor. I'm no super mom. BUT, I am a mom who loves her kids and tries her best. I love Jesus and want to show that to my kids, but I'm human, and so are you.

cranky

Today I woke up in a bad mood. Part of this is because I was awake from 4:30 (feeding V) to 5:30 on the phone with my Registry several times. I was cancelled by the hospital I was supposed to go to (as well as yesterday) and wasn't allowed to work at UCI because all my paperwork wasn't in (whatever that means)....so I woke up cranky when the boys got up at 7am. We went to the gym for our cycle class and then afterwards at home I lost my temper with Ezekiel. Jason sensed I was lacking patience with the boys, so he suggested that he take them out for the afternoon. I'm grateful for the time I had by myself and with Violet. The boys left at 1pm and I met them for dinner later at 5pm. It was a peaceful afternoon with reading, voting, and going on a walk with V. On that walk, we visited Children's Orchard where I found some fantastically girly sparkly shoes for V. She loves them.

Though I almost never go to Starbucks anymore, I did go today to get my free coffee

We have 2 toilets in our house, but unfortunately for the last month or so, the one in our hall has not been working quite right. I read online and found some solutions and thought I had fixed it. Not so. Then Jason went at it with a snake, put a hose down it and blasted water through it...and then my dad also attacked it with a snake and the hose. Nothing really resolved the problem. Yesterday my brilliant husband thought to use the shop-vac to suck out the water and possibly something else in it...

"Ezekiel, did you put a toy down the toilet??" Sad face and scared eyes: "I didn't know." So the toilet is FIXED! Hooray!! It doesn't seem like it would be that bad, but when Jason was sleeping in the morning, I had to take the boys in through the backyard to our bathroom to poop since the door opening was waking J up. AND, those boys seem to time their bathroom visits because often they would have to go at the same time and I had to assess who had to go most urgently...
We will no longer have this problem because the toilet is fixed AND J is going back to his day shift next week. I'm bummed because I love his current schedule, but oh well.

Gavin "re" started preschool Monday and loved it - as I knew he would. His teacher was very friendly and warm and the other classmates were kind to G. We celebrated by going to yogurt after dinner. And another sign our boy is growing up - he has a loose tooth!! He found it tonight in the bath and he is SO excited about it. He was also quite excited about the "voting movie" we were watching and kept asking the candidates names. Funny boy.