During this 30th year of my life I have tried to discover more about myself - and who God created me to be. I have taken a look at what my life looks like and what I want it to look like and how to marry those two.

One thing I know about myself is God has given me a desire to care for the homeless. I discovered this place in myself around high school, I believe. I remember one day I was going to my friend Allison's house after school and we saw a homeless man on the sidewalk. We went to the nearest store and bought him a bunch of food. Then we stopped, got out and asked him his name. He said "Superman" so we shook hands and told Superman we were pleased to meet him and left him with his food. When I was as Biola, I was in charge of the Brown Bag ministry and weekly went to parts of Long Beach handing out food and having conversations. These days I do what I can, though I definitely want to do more. I'm not sure what that looks like yet, though there are a few things I try to do...a) if I see a homeless man or woman and have cash, I give b) if I can, I talk to them - ask a name, tell them mine and chat c) if I can - go even further - buy food, etc.

My conviction is to give. You might say "they're just going to use that for beer or drugs!" As strange as that may sound - that doesn't matter to me. I'm to give generously...and that has always been my strong conviction. Lately I have noticed a new homeless man around here I have not seen before a week or 2 ago. He appears young and "lives" on a bus bench on Beach Blvd. He is often slouched over most likely sleeping. Most people who are homeless do not sleep well because they are cold, uncomfortable and fearful that someone will steal their meager belongings or hurt them. I see him 6 times a week at least - to and from G's school 3 days/week. Each time I see him my desire to help him resurfaces. I think through different scenarios of inviting him to our house for a warm shower (not so wise on a day with just me and kiddos home!), driving him to a facility to obtain help (also not so wise on my own). My heart aches because under his smelly exterior, he is a child of God, just as we all are. My heart aches because this cannot be what Jesus wants for one of his own...

I see other people taking him food/coffee/sodas...and that is probably what I will do too. Many people do not feel convicted to help because "they are choosing to be there." But...I would bet the percentage of homeless with mental illness is in the high ninety's....they are sick and need treatment most of the time. I know for myself, I am called to be Jesus' hands and feet...and Jesus Himself hung out with the destitute, the poor and the hurting. Why don't we?