Everyday Thankfulness

I am quite often asked "are you having more kids?" (and if I've already done this blog, just skip it, but I cant' remember if its all in my head or I've actually typed it out...) and my frequent reply is "i thiiiiiink we're done. i mean, if it were up to ME, we would have another one, but JASON is DONE, so..." So yeah, I put it all on Jason. But lately I have been thinking about that and then my mom and I had a conversation and I realized that its really convenient for me to blame Jason but the reality is, I'm not sure I DO want another baby(and yeah, I'm going to tie in the whole thankfulness theme...).
I think to admit that seems like some sort of a failure for some reason. Like I'm admitting that I'm not a good enough Mom to take care of 4 kids or I can't handle another child. But really, of course I could handle another child...but what is my motivation? My memories of my pregnancy and birth of Violet are romantic. I forget all the negative (maybe many of us do, that's why we have more?)....and then I look at the big picture and realize that each of these babies - sweet and tiny - GROW UP. And then you have a 2 year old. And then a 3 year old, etc (obviously). And I think for me and for my family, its time to say THANK YOU JESUS for 3 healthy beautiful children. Time to focus on the next stages and be the best Mom I can be to our 3 kids. Its time to quiet the little voice in my head that says "just one more and then you'll be happy" because its not like I'm not happy, but for some reason I have not chosen contentment in this area.
I want to choose contentment in every area of my life. This is where I'm at. This is where God has me. There is a purpose in my life and a purpose in my days. Today I am thankful for a God that has grace and has redeemed me from my ugliness and in HIM is making something beautiful.